


In My Personal Experience

by CunningEmpress



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual, Malec, Original Character(s), Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, clace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-10-25 17:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17729306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CunningEmpress/pseuds/CunningEmpress
Summary: Tee is a centuries old warlock who figured out the parabatai bond with her friend Clyde. Now Clyde has been taken by Valentine and Tee goes to Magnus for help.The bond between the two warlocks is a well-kept secret but will it remain so? Is it just as useful as the original, shadowhunter bond or could there be consequences?





	1. The Runaway

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first decent piece of fanfiction. This idea has been in my head for the past week and I decided to turn it into writing to be done with it.  
> English is not my first language and I'm sure there are bits I'll come back to someday and think they're garbage, but for now I just need to publish it to see if anyone thinks it's any good.

It has always been the wisest of choices to take care of yourself.  
I have come to realise that people, mortal or otherwise, share my experience.

Right now, I’m exhausted. Valentine’s circle has been creeping up on me for the past week and I had to throw them off my tail. The portal closes and vanishes behind me and I bend down to rest my hands on my knees and breathe fast, my chest rising again and again. A minute or two passes and I rise up to see my surroundings. A wet alley in New York City. It’s late here, yet people are still making a noise. A city that never sleeps. I sigh. Walking to the street I realise why it’s so busy. A club, Pandemonium, is on the other side. I am definitely not dressed appropriately in skinny jeans, boots, blouse and a blazer. At least it’s all black. My hair is probably a mess and I have a feeling my face is bright red with smudges of God-knows-what. I walk over the street. People are lining up to get in and the bouncers occasionally let people through. I don’t have time for that though, so I head for the door. A bouncer stops me. “Miss, you need to wait in the line.”  
I raise my hand, let the glamour drop for a second and wipe my hair from my face. “I know the owner,” I say and offer a forced smile. He nods, a knowing glimmer in his eyes and lets me walk past him into the club.

Magnus Bane isn’t hard to spot, even in this busy club - or should I say, especially in this busy club. I almost run through the crowd, but then I get a better look at the eye candy by his side. The man has runes all over his body. A shadowhunter. It makes me want to hiss. I walk toward them, eyeing the pair carefully. Magnus leans in… for a kiss? Whatever’s going on it’s not business.  
Magnus can sense me coming and locks eyes with me. The dark haired shadowhunter follows his gaze and sees me. He seems worried and something tells me it’s not his own safety that worries him. Did someone mention Magnus having a boyfriend? It might have slipped my mind. But a shadowhunter of all things? I guess, they forgot to mention.  
I get through the room and Magnus has already told his crew to make themselves scarce. “I’m so glad I found you,” I start. Neither of the men seem to know who I am. “Clyde sent me. We’re in trouble. Or he is. Valentine’s men have been chasing us for days and -.”  
“Calm down, cookie, you’re safe here,” Magnus stops me. Clyde knew Magnus way better than I ever did. I never even got to meet Magnus before. He puts his hand on my shoulder, trying to affirm that nothing would happen here. He then turns to his boyfriend. “Alexander, I think you should go notify the Institute.” The shadowhunter boy looks at me, then Magnus again. “Are you sure?” So it’s not just a fling, I realise. It’s the real deal. Magnus raises his other hand on Alexander’s cheek and gives him a quick peck on the lips. “Yes, darling, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you later.” Alexander takes his word for it, nods, looks at me once more before leaving and disappearing into the crowd.  
“Now, Little Bird, let's get you cleaned up.”  
Magnus offers to portal us to his loft, but I ask if we could walk a few blocks so instead we land a five minute walk away from his place. On the way there, I spot a fashion store and stop by for some “shopping”. After all, I have nothing to wear. The walk clears my mind and calms me down. I feel my heart rate slowing and I can feel all the ache and the weariness from the days before settle in. Magnus doesn’t ask me any questions, though he must be dying to know what has happened to me and Clyde.  
We arrive at the loft and I can sense all the wards around the building. Clyde wasn’t kidding, he truly is a magnificent warlock. The magical alarm system makes me comfortable enough to let down my glamour, the dark blue hair and black talons now clearly visible. I see the couch and immediately fall into it. I let out a sigh of relief, I could fall asleep right there, right then.  
“I’m sorry I barged in like this, I really had nowhere else to go and I heard you were the one to turn to in situations like this,” I tell him.  
“It’s all okay, my darling. Clyde’s a good friend of mine, but if you don’t mind me asking: who exactly are you?”  
I’d blush but I’m too tired to be embarrassed. “I’m sorry. My name is Tee. Yes, like the drink, or the letter, whichever you prefer.”  
“Ah, Clyde talked about you quite a lot. I assumed you were his girlfriend until he corrected me. Went on for a couple of decades, I think.” It puts a smile on my face.  
“It’s a common misunderstanding.” Neither of us really minded how people seemed to think we were a couple. Truly, we were just the closest of friends.  
“But that shadowhunter at the club. Alexander was it?” I begin. “Is he your boyfriend? Are you dating one of them?” Magnus is hard to read. On the other hand he seems happy, even proud, but on the other he seems defensive, like he’s expecting a lousy comment.  
“Yes. He’s actually the head of the New York Institute.” I suck in a breath and let out a quiet whistle. “Never thought I’d see the day. Though I’ve seen a lot of days so I guess I should’ve seen this coming.” Shadowhunters and warlock weren’t really a thing. There were occasional hook-ups but this was the first time I ever heard of an actual relationship. “It’s weird that the two of us have never met,” I say. “I’ve heard of you, countless of times. People praise you. Somehow we never manage to be in the same place.” Magnus smiles.  
“Yes, it’s quite interesting. But I guess, that’s the world making the biggest mistake it ever could have. I’ve heard of you too, you know. I’ve heard of the feisty mistress of the dark who defends her own honor.” It’s my turn to smile. And yawn.  
Magnus holds up his arm and points to the corridor. “To the left, at the end of the hall is the guest room. Feel free to stay as long as you like.”  
I get up from the couch and grab my shopping bags. “Thank you, Magnus. I know you and Clyde didn’t end on best terms. This means a lot.” Magnus looks down and so do I. We both know the hurt the end of Magnus and Clyde’s relationship brought. I walk up to the hall but before I pass the corner I look back at Magnus. “Oh, and remember to call your boyfriend. Tell him all is well, I just need a good night’s rest.”

I give him a genuine smile and he takes out his phone before I turn around and go to bed.


	2. The Inquisition

I wake up the next day around 2PM to a sound of chatter. For a second I forget where I am and start panicking. I take a deep breath and remember last night's events. I had been so tired that I barely got out of my clothes before I fell asleep. I stretch out of the bed and feel my every muscle ache. “Ouch.”  
I walk into the bathroom, strip naked and turn the shower on. I search my skin for scratches and bruises and to my astonishment find less than I was expecting. The warm water does wonder for my muscles and I almost don’t want to get out until my stomach growls. I wrap myself and my hair in towels and walk out in the kitchen.

Magnus is having what seems to be lunch with his shadowhunter boyfriend. Magnus is sitting facing the doorway and sees me first. His smile is- amused? When Alexander turns around I realise why. The poor boy gets flustered the second he realises what I’m wearing. “Good morning to you too. I almost thought you wouldn’t wake up at all.” Magnus breaks the silence. “We saved some for you.” He nods at the take-out bag. I hurry over and whistle at the sushi. I grab the food and sit down with the boys to enjoy my breakfast/lunch. “Thank you, this is great.” I tell them as I fiddle with the chopsticks. Alexander looks like he doesn’t know what to do or where to look. “Haven’t you ever seen a hot girl in a towel.” I say as I playfully place a piece of sushi into my mouth. The shadowhunter goes red and answers my question. Apparently not. Magnus laughs and gives his boyfriend an apologetic look. I doubt he really means it. It is kind of funny.  
“I hear you’re the head of the Institute.” That seems to be more his territory. “Yeah, and about that… I’ll need to have a chat with you. You said Valentine was after you and your friend?” I eat another sushi before I look up to answer. “Yeah, he was. Or is. The Circle got to Clyde.” Alexander looks over at Magnus who’s staring at me. “He’s fine at the moment.” I assure them. The two exchange looks. It’s like watching a conversation from the other side of the room - you can tell something’s going on but can’t tell what it is. “He’s got a protection spell that won’t let the shadowhunters hurt him.” It seems to reassure them and I finish my plate of sushi. At some point Magnus and Alexander retire to the main bedroom. I go to my room to dress up. The clothes I had gotten the night before were much more revealing than what I had been wearing earlier. But it was all black.  
I had gotten myself a figure hugging dress with a lacy top, heeled boots with gold laces and a cropped leather jacket. Now that I had my strength back, my glamour was back in place and my hair was back to it’s usual dark shade of brown and nails appeared normal, painted red. With little magic I style my hair and place my makeup.  
I hear a knock at the door. Magnus steps in and tells me Alexander is taking me to the Institute to see if I can recall anything that could help them find Valentine. Magnus had already made a portal to the Institute in the living room and the shadowhunter guides me through it. I think it hear him mutter “Girls” under his breath when I walk past him.

“I didn’t realise I was such an important visitor,” I say as I pass through the portal and meet the people greeting us. A golden haired boy, probably a Herondale, a short, red-haired girl and a beautiful dark-haired girl who could very well be related to Alexander. I look at the other two for a moment and take a step back even though the portal is long gone. “You two. You’re Valentine’s children.”  
The golden-haired boy sighs. “Not really, but sure. We still want him dead. Dad of the year.” His smirk is sarcastic. I’d heard stories of Valentine being chased by his own kids, but to me they had always sounded more like jokes. I guess not.  
The dark-haired girl steps up and offers her arm to me. “My name is Isabelle Lightwood, Izzy for short. Alec’s my brother. We don’t often get leads on Valentine’s whereabouts and Magnus’ friends are even more rare. Shall we?”  
I put my arm around hers and let her walk me through the Institute. “I wouldn’t exactly call us friends. I know him through a friend, though.” Isabelle smiles and eyes my outfit. “I gotta say that dress is so flattering on you.”  
I’d say thank you, but we’ve arrived at Alec’s office and he sits down behind the desk as the rest of us settle on the seats around the fireplace. “Izzy would you stop, we’re here to catch bad guys,” Valentine’s son points out. Izzy gives him a playful pout and I make sure to get myself a chair so I won’t have to sit next to any of them. I might be a powerful warlock, but they’re still shadowhunters.  
I look around the room and watch them interact with each other. “You’ve already met my brother,” Izzy says before turning to the others. “This, like you might’ve heard is Jace, our adopted brother and the best warrior in the whole Institute.” She doesn’t mention his last name so I ask: “Is it Morgenstern or what now?” If you live as long as I have you stop caring about being settle. Besides, I’m on enemy territory and they’re carrying more weapons than I care to count. Someone might think that’d be a great reason to be polite, but little directness is hardly considered a threat - even by shadowhunter standards.  
“It’s Herondale,” Jace says, obviously angry about the question. I smirk. “So I was right. The family resemblance is clear.” The red-haired girl sitting next to him frowns and furrows her brows. “My name is Clary. Uh, Fairchild,” she says and smiles at me. Again, the family resemblance. I smile back at her. She seems genuinely friendly. Alec who had been shuffling through stacks of paper since we walked in now speaks up. “Now that we’ve gotten acquainted, I need to ask you some questions.”  
“Bring the heat,” I say and mentally prepare for the flood of questions.  
“Where were you when you first made contact with The Circle?”  
“In France. I was traveling with my dear friend Clyde.”  
“And where is Clyde now?”  
“He was taken by the shadowhunters.” These news seem to upset the crowd. Clary apologizes and I smile at her kindness. “He should be okay, though. He has a protective spell.” Doesn’t mean I won’t stop looking for him.  
“They portaled him to somewhere. By now he could be anywhere, but I’m guessing it’s around water since I can’t track him down.”  
“I’ll notify the French Institutes to keep their eyes open for any of Valentine’s men,” Alec says and makes a marking to his notes.  
“The portal,” I start. “Do they have warlocks working for them or is it some kind of new technology?”  
It’s Clary’s turn to answer. “Valentine has taken a lot of downworlders captive. We think he’s running some kind of tests on them and having them work for him.”  
So, slaves then. The thought makes me shudder.  
“Do you think you could locate your friend if he was on land,” Alec asks. I turn around to face him. “Yes, I’d know immediately if he was somewhere I could reach him. Right now all I know that he’s not hurt.”  
Damn it, I swear at myself for slipping up. However, the shadowhunters didn’t seem to catch it.

Every girl has her secrets. In my case they rarely are just mine.


	3. The Bar

After I’d gotten out of the Institute it was Isabelle who offered to help me in adjusting to New York. I tried to assure her that I wasn’t planning on staying very long but she was adamant about taking me shopping for new clothes and by the looks of her, she was the best shopping help I could find in this place.

We were at a shop Izzy had recommended and I quite liked the pieces. It was mostly black, but featured some sexy colored pieces too. Before too long I had my arms full of clothes to try on and we went to try them on. Isabelle had found a couple of dresses to try.

“What’s the deal with Clyde?” she asks as soon I could pull the curtain shut. “Is he just a friend? Is he hot?” I roll my eyes at her questions.

“You know, not everyone is crazy of every hot piece of meat that walks past them.” I shuffle into a shirt and skirt and open up the curtain to get her opinion and she walks out of her stall with an amazing dress on her. “If I was, I’d be all over you by now.” She smiles at me, but it’s not flirty and I give her an identical one. “Then how do you know Magnus?”

I’m a little taken aback by her question. “What? You thought Magnus and I used to be together?” I almost laugh then and Izzy blushes, embarrassed. “No. Before yesterday Magnus and I had never met. And in case you’re looking out for your brother: no, I’m not interested in him.” If Izzy has heard of the time when I walked in the kitchen in towels, very well covered I might add, she doesn’t show it. But it would raise my suspicions too if I were in her place.

I retire back to my stall and change the shirt. “You didn’t answer the question. How did you know about Magnus?” I can hear her getting anxious.

I pull back the curtain and look at myself in the mirror. Isabelle is still wearing the same dress. “Clyde knew him. Used to tell me stories all the time.” I keep my voice low and don’t try to think too much of it. Clyde was supposed to be the one  shopping with me - even though he knew nothing of women’s fashion.

Fortunately for me Isabelle has the common sense of stopping the questionnaire and I try on the rest of the clothes in peace. Most of them I decide to keep. It’s the last dress that I’m not sure of and need a second opinion. “What do you think?” I ask as I pull the curtain back. The dress is maroon, off-the-shoulder and has a fringe on the top, otherwise it hugs every curve. Isabelle puts her phone down and perks up. She smiles and nods. “If there’s ever a party, that’ll be perfect, just add heels and jewelry.” I thought the dress had been quite bland, but with the right amount of jewelry I could make it work. I smile back at her. “Just a second then, this is the last one, I’ll just get into my own stuff.”

I change back into the dress I arrived in and pick up the clothes I decided to buy. Isabelle is already at the register when I get out and the shop assistant offers her the bag. I take one last look around the store and pick up a couple of pairs of shoes before going to the register. “You know what,” I hear Isabelle. “You should come with us tonight. We’re meeting at a bar, Magnus is coming too.” I dial in the number for my credit card and look over at her. “It’s a downworlder hangout,” she assures me. I furrow my brows and think for a second. It’s strange to be hanging out with shadowhunters, but they’re helping me find Clyde. And Magnus will be there too, and other downworlders, I guess. “Okay,” I let her know. “I’ll come with Magnus.” Isabelle glows up. “That’s great, I’ll see you there. You know how to get to the loft, right?” I nod and she explains the details. We exit the store with our bags and to my astonishment, Izzy hugs me before she leaves. The loft isn’t far but with the heels and the bags I decide to portal there.

 

***

 

As I arrive I’m pretty sure I can hear voices from one of the rooms and I go check. Magnus is there with a guest. “Hi! I just came back. Izzy took me shopping,” I say and eye at the visitor. Magnus gives her an apologetic look. “I’ll be done in a minute, I just have to finish up with a client.” I nod knowingly. I used to do client work too. “Take all the time you need, sorry for intruding.” I leave and close the door behind me, going back to my room. I take the tags off my new clothes and hang them in the wardrobe. Couple of moments later Magnus appears at my door. “I guess Izzy also invited you to join us at the bar later today,” he says with a knowing smirk. “Yeah, she did. But you know it doesn’t feel quite right. I just feel so useless when I can’t do anything to help Clyde,” I admit. Magnus steps in and puts his arms around me. “It’s okay, sweetie. We all have the same goal. We’ll stop Valentine and get Clyde back. There’s nothing he can’t take.” We both stay quiet for a moment and I can tell Magnus is wondering about the past. He steps back, but his hand stays on my shoulder.

“He was crazy heartbroken after you,” I tell him. “But it was for the best. He found someone else later and they’re happy together. And it seems like it worked out for you too.” His eyes are hard to read and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. “He isn’t mad at you, really he never was. I’m glad he found someone. I wish I had realised sooner that the two of us were never meant to be.” There’s a happiness in his eyes. A relief even. It’s my turn to give him a comforting smile.

“Really, I never was on board with the two of you dating,” I confess. He pretends to be hurt and gasps. I laugh. “It just never seemed like what I imagined a true relationship should look like. What Clyde and James have now or what you and Alec have is on a different level. It’s more… enduring.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Magnus replies and laughs with me. “Now get ready, we’re leaving soon.”

“What happened to being fashionably late?” There were some things you’d know about Magnus even if you’d only ever heard stories.

“That only applies when there are people present who I want to impress. Now I just want to go kiss my boyfriend.” With that he leaves my room.

 

I change. I choose a more casual dress, a loose fitting black T-shirt dress, add a couple loose necklaces and pull on the same leather jacket and boots I was wearing earlier. I even update my makeup and add glitter, something I have been seeing all over the loft. And I think I used to see a lot of it on Clyde back when he was going out with Magnus. It makes so much more sense now.

Magnus takes longer to get ready and I wait in the living room. “I can see why everyone has a crush on you,” I say as he enters. He’s wearing skin-tight leather pants that must be a struggle to get in - or out of - and a loose, dark blue button up with a studded collar. And of course his usual amount of jewelry and makeup.

“Everyone? Not you?” He questions.

I shrug and make a quick pout. “Just never found my type, I guess.”

He turns around on his heels and opens the door. “The bar is just a block away.” Wonder he walks at all in those shoes. Well, there is the added bonus of magic.

 

As we arrive, we are the last ones there, guess there’s just that much you can change about a person. Magnus is greeted with open arms and after a quick hug from Isabelle Alec’s arms close around him and he gets the kiss he was looking for.

I can’t help but feel a bit out of place. Bars aren’t my usual hang out, I much more prefer cafe’s. I only came because I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. I go to the bar and order myself a drink. “You Magnus’ friend?” the girl at the bar asks. I’m caught off guard and don’t know what to answer. “It’s fine, he’s my friend too. This is on the house,” she says and pours me my long drink from the tab.

It seems that the High Warlock of Brooklyn has made himself home here. I turn around to see him surrounded by his friends, mostly paying attention to Alec. He didn’t hesitate for a second to help me when I showed up out of the blue.

Alec looks over and I smile at him before turning back over and looking at my drink. What good did coming over here do? I’m just as lonely as I’d be back at the loft. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see who it is. Alec.

“Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I called the French and told them to look for any circle members that might be around. Honestly, I doubt they stuck around for long after they lost you, but it’s the only lead we have right now.” I sigh. Of course there was hardly anything to do to find the only person on the planet who I could call a friend. “Well, thank you anyway. I don’t think I’ll be staying in town for much longer, there are things I need to do,” I lie. There was nothing I needed to do. I hardly had any close relationships to turn to and everything I had had going on had been put on pause after I left to travel with Clyde.

“Well, if you choose to stay we’ll help as much as we can. We want Valentine gone just as much you do.”

“I don’t care about Valentine, I just want my friend back.” I snap at him. “I’m sorry. I’ve been tired and stressed, I didn’t mean to get angry with you.”

“No no, it’s fine,” Alec assures me.

“If it’s any constellation, I think you and Magnus are great together. I’ve seen a lot of relationships to know the ones that stick. Gosh, if I had known that before I would’ve ended the whole thing with him and Clyde,” I say, laughing. Alec’s face falls and I realise what I’ve said.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I thought you knew.” Alec’s hand forms a fist and for a second I’m afraid he might hit something. Instead he turns around and storms out the bar. Across the room I meet Magnus’ eyes and I want to say I’m sorry but I don’t get the chance before Magnus leaves to go after Alec.

I feel like banging my head on the counter but I just prop my head on my hands and sigh. “And that is why I never talk about other people’s relationships,” the girl at the bar says. “Pour me a shot, would you?” Without a question she pulls out the hardest liquor I assume the bar has and pours me a drink, my unfinished long drink still on the counter. “Could you maybe remind me of this once a century so I remember not to put my nose in other people’s business.” The girl laughs. “My name’s Maia, by the way.”

“Great,” I moan. “Now I know the bartenders name. This begins to feel like my sober years are done.” I down the shot in one go and grin at the burn in my throat. “And I don’t think I should be going back at the apartment tonight. I have feeling those two will sort out their things in no time.”

I look at the girl that I can now identify as a werewolf, a scar on her on neck. “My name’s Tee, by the way. Might as well know who you’re serving.”

“I’ve heard a bit about you. The warlock that just moved in at Magnus’, right?”

“Wow, the world travels fast here,” I comment. I point at the empty shot glass and she pours me another one which I down right away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates on my writing and new chapters follow my Instagram @slytheridute. I plan on updating twice a week, next time on Saturday.


	4. Magic Trick

I decide to risk it and go to the loft anyway. Really, I don’t want to know if Alec and Magnus worked through Magnus’ seriously long list of ex-lovers, all I want to do is find my bed and pass out. I quietly sneak in and can’t hear anything, which I take as a good sign. I head for my room and let out a relieved sigh as soon as I close the door. I cast a quick spell to soundproof the room.

***

Next morning I’m awaken by the movement in my room. I feel the pounding headache from last night’s drinking and realise I’d been too drunk to dress up for the bed and everything I had been wearing last night was now on the floor. The thing that woke me turns out to be a bird at the window, casting a shadow to my face. It’s early. Or at least earlier than it was yesterday when I woke up. I had been in town for a day and had already made things difficult to my host.

 

There’s a knock on the door and I’m expecting Magnus to come in with a request for me to find another place to stay. I make sure the covers are covering me and sit up on the bed, holding the covers with one hand on my chest. “Come in,” I announce. When nothing happens I remember the spell I had made last night and instead I use my magic to open the door.

Fully prepared to tell Magnus, I’ll pack up my things and find a new place, I’m surprised to find Alec at the door. He’s holding a cup of juice and what I assume to be a painkiller. “I’m sorry -” I begin but Alec stops me. “No, it’s me who should be sorry.” I wince at my headache and nausea and he offers me the painkiller and the juice. I grab them and down them so fast I barely have time to realise that what looked like juice most certainly didn’t taste like it. I frown and Alec chuckles. “It’s some sort of hangover remedy Magnus swears by. It works so I haven’t had the guts to ask him what’s in it.” After a second of almost awkward silence I speak up.

“So what happened last night? After I spilled the beans?”

“Oh, uhm, I’m really sorry you had to see me like that, I wish it had never happened. We talked. It doesn’t matter.”

I take his lack of descriptive words as a sign that something else did happen, but it’s not my business.

“I’m really sorry I blurted it out like that. I really thought the two of you had had the talk about past lovers,” I apologize once more.

Alec gives me a half-hearted smirk.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks. I wasn’t really expecting him to want to know any more about me, or for him to want to continue this rather personal conversation with me.

“Sure,” I say and pat at the bed next to me. He sits down. He seems to be debating whether he wants to ask me a question or not.

“Have you had a lot of relationships? It’s just that, you’re basically the only immortal besides Magnus that I feel like I can talk to about these kinds of things.”

The question is not the kind I was really expecting. It’s not even something I consider being comfortable with, especially with someone who is so clearly new to the immortal dating life. I had the worst possible experience in dating ever. Even mortals didn’t get as confused as I did.

“Oh,” is all I can manage. It takes a second for me to gather the rest of my thoughts. “Well, no.”

It clearly wasn’t the answer Alec was expecting to hear. “So just a few? You’re just as old as Magnus, right?”

“No, actually. I’ve never had a relationship. In many ways I’m the last person you should be asking for advice. Yes, I’ve lived at least as long as Magnus but people are different. I could live another millennium and never date a soul. And someone else could live just another year and date ten people. There have been times I thought I could make it work but those never lasted too long. It was more about me, battling my own thoughts and ideas than about finding someone else desirable.” I can see on Alec’s face what I have seen so many times on other people when they’ve heard of my lack of love life. A mix of confusion, not understanding how it is possible and suspicion that I was holding back, lying or not telling the whole truth.

“Last night you seemed so confident when you were telling me about Magnus and I and how he used to be with Clyde. It seemed like you knew a lot about relationships,” Alec says.

“For someone to be great at seeing lasting relationships they simply have to see a lot of them to become great at judging them.” I play it off as if it’s all just years worth of training, like a mundane magic trick when in reality it’s an actual magic trick that’s given me the insight I otherwise never would’ve learned.

Alec takes my silence as a sign of aversion. I hand him the glass and don’t correct him. 

“We gotta stop meeting like this,” I say more cheerfully and gesture at my naked body under the covers, referring to the previous morning. He chuckles, leaves the room and closes the door after him.

 

***

 

This morning I decide to get my own breakfast and head out to find my favorite cafe in New York. It’s just a perfect combination of hidden and modern. Whatever concoction I drank this morning, it truly works. My headache and nausea have disappeared.

I hear chuckles at the door and look up to see what is going on. To my horror I see two men standing at the door. Both of them have seraph blades in their hands and a circle rune on their neck. They’re looking at me like I’m their favorite part of dinner. I stood up and gather up a ball of magic in my fist. The two men walk toward me and I shoot one of them. He dodges but the other one goes down. I furrow my brows and even the shadowhunter turns around to see what hit his friend. He’s knocked to the ground before I realise Jace has followed them here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is very short but it's something I felt was important to write as it tells a lot about aromanticism.  
> If to you it sounds unrealistic or you feel that you can't relate, just remember that there are a lot of times us aromantics cannot relate to the norm. Valentine's Day being a great example of that.
> 
> If you don't believe in aromantics or asexuals existing then I would suggest you stop reading this fanfiction. It's not centered around Tee's orientation but it defines her just as much as any other orientation would.
> 
> To keep reading and enjoying this story don't forget to bookmark it and leave me some kudos so I know you like it.  
> Next chapter on Tuesday!


	5. The Truth

To say that I was worried would be an understatement. I was freaking out. I had no idea how the shadowhunters had found me or why they were after me, I could only make assumptions.

 

I am pacing around the Institute lobby, waiting to hear from Alec or someone else who was interrogating the Circle members. Magnus is propped against the fall, turning the rings on his fingers. He has made sure I was okay for multiple times and I have lied just as often. I feel like barfing my guts out. I feel like if I stop moving something terrible will happen. I’m not sure what Valentine’s men are telling the others, but I can only imagine.

Finally we can see Alec and Jace approaching. I force myself to stop and look at them and hear what they have to say.

“We need to talk with you,” Alec says. “We can’t understand what they’re talking about.” I sigh and I’m about to start lecturing them about translators, I mean they must have those, but Alec stops me.

“Not here. In my office.”

Magnus and I follow him. Jace stays few steps behind me, something that eerily reminds me of movies where prisoners are escorted from one place to another. Magnus seems to sense the mood too. Our eyes meet, but it doesn’t offer me the confidence I was looking for.

As we arrive to Alec’s office I see Isabelle and Clary there waiting for us. Alec doesn’t sit behind his desk, instead he leans against it, facing us. Jace stands beside him. None of us sit down.

“What’s going on?” I ask, looking at my surroundings. It’s starting to feel rather hostile.

“Alexander is everything alright?” Magnus asks. He doesn’t like to be left out of the loop, least of all by his boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” Alec answers. “Has Tee been lying to us the whole time?”

So the Circle did tell him something about me.

“No,” I answer honestly. “Why would I lie? What would I even lie about?”

“Really, we don’t really understand it either. Valentine’s men had some interesting theories about you and your friend Clyde.”

Apparently Clary and Isabelle have no clue about what they’re friends are talking about.

“Well, tell me what it is. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” I say. “You guys are my best bet at ever getting him back.”

It Jace who first speaks up. “They’re talking about some kind of warlock parabatai bond.” I hear gasps and the shadowhunters are staring at each other, looking at Magnus for explanations and him staring at me. “That’s not possible,” he says right away.

“That’s not entirely true,” I correct him and the whole room stops.

“So when you say he’s okay, you’re so certain because…” Magnus starts.

“Because I know that he’s okay,” I finish. There’s a silence in the room and I know they are expecting me to tell more about it.

“We figured it out centuries ago,” I explain. “We had known each other for decades and developed a deep relationship. At the time we often did work for shadowhunters and met a lot of parabatais in the process. We got jealous, thinking it would be nice to have that to ourselves. It took as years and years to finally come up with the spell and all the ingredients for it but we figured it out. We never told anyone, mostly for our own safety. The Clave has never been a fan of downworlders and us copying something they felt so much like theirs, was basically a huge sign saying ‘KILL US’ at the time. So we kept it just between us and never talked about it with anyone. Even when we were apart, we could sleep well knowing the other was safe. And if something happened we’d always have back up.”

“I have no idea how Valentine’s men could have come up with that theory, but they must have a warlock of their own to figure out something like that,” Jace says. He looks at me to disprove his logic but I don’t.

“I’d appreciate if this information would never leave this room.”

The others nod.

“Right now, this is not the kind of information that would help us catch Valentine. But I must warn you that these men seemed to have theories that if they could bring you and Clyde together they might be able to get through the protective spell on him.”

I nod in understanding. If they had figure out the parabatai it wasn’t surprising they had learned the antidote for the spell.

“It’s not quite that black and white. Yes, it would logically be me to have the cure, but just simply putting us in the same room wouldn’t break the spell. It’s kind of a password. I have one but I could tell anyone our so called emergency password. And no, I’m not giving it to any of you until I can be certain we can find him.” None of them have a problem with that. But my story raises new questions and Isabelle is the first one to ask them.

“If you are so close and were travelling together then how did the Circle only get Clyde but not you?”

I look down at my feet and my cheeks turn red from embarrassment.

“I was drunk at the time, I wasn’t paying a lot of attention. I honestly don’t remember much of anything from the past couple of years or so.”

Clary’s brows rise and Magnus furrows his. My alcoholism isn’t what I’d like to talk about nor is it vital for this conversation.

“Didn’t you mention Clyde had a boyfriend? James, right?” Magnus perks up for the first time since we walked in. “Where’s he in all of this?”

“He stayed in Dubai and let me steal his boyfriend from him.” I shrug. I had pretty much forgotten about him and made a mental note to call him as soon as I got a chance.

“I take it you haven’t told him.” It’s Isabelle’s turn to talk and I shake my head. “I’ll let him know, but you should expect him to come running here once I do.”

Finally, a silence fills the room as no one can come up with another question. Except for me.

“Did they tell you how they found me?”

“Oh, they looked at your credit card purchases,” Alec answers and I swear under my breath. Jace smiles and I can feel Clary giving him a stare.

“If that’s all…” I begin to walk toward the door.

“Make sure to keep in touch, we’ll call if we have more questions or the men give us any leads,” Alec says and I hurry out of the door. What I need now is a place to think and not be bothered. Maybe I’ll call James to let him know what’s been going on for the past few days.

 

I can’t make sense of my thoughts, but what I know for sure is the betrayal I feel for telling so many people about the bond that we swore to keep a secret. But I don’t want to lie to these people. At the moment they’re my closest thing to friends and they’re helping me find Clyde. I trust them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To message me, you can find me on Instagram @slytheridute or Twitter @CunningEmpress
> 
> I'll be glad to hear all your thoughts.


	6. James

It takes me until the next day to calm down and to  find the courage I need to call James. I pass through the kitchen in the morning on my way to the park. I got myself a full closet, which was tricky since I didn’t want to use my credit card anymore. I decided it would be best to call him at the park. If it wouldn’t go great I could go on a run.

The kitchen is empty. Magnus is probably still in bed. With Alec. I get out the front the door and make my way down to the park. The walk makes my heart race. Not because I’m out of shape but because I know I’ll be talking to James in a moment. If it weren’t this serious I would probably back out and ask Clyde to deliver the news.

I get to the park and sit down under a tree. It’s shade giving me cover from the sun. I pick at the grass as I look for James’ number. I push the call button before I can think and press the phone to my ear.

James picks up on the second ring.

“Hey, Tee, what’s up? Is everything alright? How’s my man doing?” He laughs, but I can tell it’s forced. I usually never call him. We barely even talk when we’re around each other. It’s my fault.

“Hi James,” I greet him. “You’re not going to like what I have to tell you.” I get into the story of what has happened these past days and James stays quiet. It’s troubling. “James say something.”

After a second of more silence I finally hear him speak. “I want to come there.”

My first instinct is to say no. I don’t really want to be around him and I don’t want to trouble him. But it’s about Clyde. “Okay. Do you have a place here? It might get a little crowded.”

“Yeah, I have a place.”

I don’t know what else to say. If there’s anything he should know before coming to New York.

“Thanks for calling, Tee,” he says. “I’ll go pack, see you later.” James hangs up.

It went well, I think. At least he didn’t yell at me. Though I almost wish he did.

 

I sit under the three for what feels like a really long time. I eventually hear my stomach growl because of the lack of breakfast that morning. I groan and get up. It’d be easier to just turn into a statue and never care about anything again. But there’d also be a lot of bird shit.

 

On my way to the loft I run into Izzy and Clary. Quite literally too. I was looking at my phone, hoping to get some kind of good news. I look up and see the girls smiling at me. “We were going to go meet my brother, but since it’s this early and they are up there alone for once I think it might be better if I don’t disturb them,” Isabelle says.

I force a smile on my face.

“I was actually just going to get myself some breakfast. Want to join?” Clary and Isabelle turn to look at each other, like people do when they are presented an odd invitation.

“That sounds lovely,” Clary says. “I actually know a cute café just around the corner.”

It’s not actually right around the corner but the walk is just over two minutes. We all order the same thing: a coffee, a salmon toast and oatmeal. The two shadowhunters take seats on the opposite side of the table and I spread out my meal on the table in front of me.

“What were you going to talk to Alec about?” I ask. It’s a low effort to make conversation. I’m not really expecting to get any insight to shadowhunter business. “Just a usual check up,” Isabelle says. “He’s been spending a lot of time at the loft with Magnus lately and he’s been missing from the Institute.” Izzy looks over at Clary before she continues. “I actually think he’s been over there so much because of you.”

I look up from my bowl of oatmeal. “Why? We don’t even talk that much.” Not at all, really if you don’t count the time he made me talk about dating.

“I think he’s looking out for Magnus,” Isabelle explains. I smile, it’s almost a laugh. “I think Magnus is more than capable of standing up to me.”

“The boys think that you’re hiding something. Or mostly Jace does,” Clary says. I put down my spoon and close my hands around the warm cup of coffee.

“What kind of secrets do they think I’m keeping exactly?”

Isabelle and Clary look to each other. They’ve spoken more than they should’ve and they know it too. “Look, I don’t plan on staying here very long but I also don’t plan on making a mess here. If there’s something wrong with the situation I’d like to clear that up. So ask me anything you want.”

Clary spins her spoon in the bowl of oatmeal. “I’m really sorry about this, I know it’s kind of weird but you’re new and the fact that we don’t know you and that even Magnus hasn’t met you before kind of sets us on an edge,” she says.

I take a sip from my coffee. Ah, the caffeine.

“I get that. But even us warlocks don’t always meet. The world is big even when it seems small. There has probably been parties where Magnus and I have both attended but never met. The warlock scene wasn’t as fun back when there weren’t too many of us. Most of us kept to ourselves and I did that quite a long time. It wasn’t until I met Clyde that I started going out more.”

It seems my answer has satisfied their curiosity.

“Jace did bring up your drinking habit. What’s that all about? You don’t really seem like the kind of person who loves to drink.” Clary almost hisses at Isabelle for asking an inappropriate question.

“Oh, um, it’s okay I guess. I don’t really like the alcohol actually. I…” It takes a minute for me to gather my thoughts. I’ve never had to explain this to anyone and I wasn’t actually thinking I would need to.

“It’s about the parabatai bond.” I lean in closer to keep the conversation quiet and - most importantly - private. “You almost never see this in shadowhunter’s since they only live less than a hundred years. Sometimes there are some old parabatais who swear the bond has gotten stronger but they’re usually brushed off as old people going crazy. But I know those shadowhunters have been right. It took years, even centuries for me to realise that anything had happened. Clyde and I used to have seasons of living together and then we might fall out of touch for years at a time. But I always knew he was okay, because of the bond. If I sensed something was wrong I’d get in touch.

It wasn’t until Clyde met James that I realised the bond had changed.” The girls were leaning is, just like me and were listening closely.

“So what happened,” Isabelle quickly says before I can even catch my breath. I smile at her excitement.

“I started crushing on people. I’d walk past someone on the street and had the most urgent sense of turning out and looking at her for a second longer. Or I’d be sitting in restaurant and stare at someone for hours before they noticed. And none of that’s me. The final bit what really set me off was when I realised I really wanted to kiss a fisherman at the docks.” The remark made them laugh. I almost did too.

“I had no idea what was going on and it was infuriating. It wasn’t until later that I heard from Clyde and realised what I had been experiencing wasn’t my feelings but his. Because of the bond I knew how happy and in love he was. And even though I was happy for him I despised it. It was like having hormonal imbalance but there was no pill I could take to get it right again. I didn’t used to be a big fan of alcohol but I soon realised that it dulled the bond. After a few drinks it wasn’t too loud and after a couple of more drinks I could hardly even tell it was there.” I look down and decide to take a break from the story and eat my toast instead.

“Does Clyde know?” Isabelle asks. After a few more bites at my toast I face them again.

“No,” I say simply. “I don’t think he has realised how strong the bond has gotten or that I’m numbing it.”

The sad fact was that Clyde was too busy with James and his own life, that he hadn’t even realised how miserable I was. But even then I was happy that he didn’t because that would only have made him feel bad for me. And it all circulated back to him being with James.

“I don’t want to tell him.” I’m not sure if either of the girls understood why or if they just decided it was rude to be so nosey.

“It sounds like Clyde has been really happy, though,” Clary remarks and gets back to her coffee. Izzy and I straighten our backs too. I stir my coffee. Yes, yes it does.

There is a silence in the conversation when we all focus on eating and somehow it’s less  awkward and more comfortable, like friends sitting in a cafe, already gone through all the new stuff in their lives.

“What is James like?” Isabelle asks. “I heard you mention he was staying in Dubai.” Ah, that peaked my interest too when I first heard.

“He’s nice. Kind of a playboy, however. Very handsome, also super loaded and likes to show off. He’s actually getting into town today.”

“Sounds like my type,” Isabelle says and I can’t help but glare at her. “He’s taken.” I say it more possessive than I mean to. It’s Clyde showing through.

 

We finish our breakfast quite soon after that. Clary and Isabelle tell me more about New York and the places they think I should visit. I tell them I will, but I’m not planning on making my stay in New York permanent. Our breakfast ends and I make both shadowhunters swear that they will not talk of what I have told them. They do and we head for the loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took this long to update. I've been a bit busy with entrance exam readings and the news of my new job got me a little side tracked.
> 
> If you want to get more insight to my writing process and life then I suggest you follow me on Instagram, @slytheridute. I update my story with news about my life and updates on new chapters, even have some polls about what I should do with the story.
> 
> And to end this: Thank you for reading. I'm ever so grateful that people are interested in my work even though it's not a literate masterpiece. It's only ever meant to be fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, leave a comment of what you thought about this, it would mean a lot.


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